Conversation: An Important Issue

The most important aspect of any conversation (संवाद) is the feeling of assurance that the person, who I am talking to, is getting the same message that I am trying to convey him in my own words. Normally, we get the meaning of the common words, specially in our mother tongue, from our surroundings which includes family, friends and the society which we live in. When we are talking to someone who is from different background (may be even different language), we are not sure that our message is reaching exactly the same way to him. Sometimes, even we in ourselves are not very sure of the right meaning of a word. This, many times, leads to confusion or may be even conflict in a dialog between two persons.

I will try to explain it with an example. I was discussing once with one of my friends about how we are always driven by assumptions in our life. Like, we are always taught since our childhood that one should respect (सम्मान)  his elders. Then, what do we do with youngers? Does this mean that one should respect only elders and insult (opposite to respect) youngers? To me, respect means 'right evaluation of  a person' which is applicable to both elders as well as youngers. In response, he said that one should respect elders and have affection (स्नेह) for youngers. Again, I understand affection as 'a feeling of relationship with someone' which one should have for an elder as well as younger person. I do not want to say here whether I am wrong or he is wrong. The matter is basically the meaning of these two words. May be he had a different meaning than mine associated to these words which is definitely leading to a confusion in our conversation. 

Another issue is that a word can never be exactly translated from one language to the other keeping its meaning intact. Atleast, I have experienced this thing. I can not express myself properly while I am talking in English (I mean any language other than my mother tongue). Its not that my English is too bad, but I think its because I do not have same feeling associated to the word that is translated from Hindi to English.Or, I should say that it is foreign language for both of us, so I am not sure what meaning he is getting from the same word. Again, I am not sure if the other person is getting the same massage that I want to convey to him.

कश्ती की कश्मकश

दास्ताँ ज़िन्दगी की सुनाएँ क्या हम 

कश्मकश हर घड़ी की भुलाएँ क्या हम?

कश्तियों की किनारे की ज़द्दोज़हद 

क्या कलम से बयाँ कर भी पाएंगे हम?

दूर जाना के फिर पास आना तेरा 

तेज़ लहरों में सर को झुकाना मेरा

राह मिलने की मुश्किल ना होती अगर

क्या जहाँ होता इतना दीवाना तेरा?

साथ कोई ना था बस तेरी आस थी

बढ के छूने की तुझको ही इक प्यास थी 

बीच मझधार हो या भँवर पार हो 

ज़िन्दगी की मेरी बस यही राह थी |

मिलने की चाह में हर किनारे पे ही 

लहरों को हमने मिटते हुए देखा है

लाख कह ले, रहो दूर मुझसे, शमा

परवानों को बस जलते ही देखा है |