One day a person mocked at me in front of many of my friends. Every one started laughing at me. I felt so bad that I started burning from inside to take revenge of my insult from this person. I started looking for any opportunity to insult him in front of the same people. All the time, my mind was occupied with the thoughts of how I can get a chance. I carried this weight for many days in my head and finally got to insult him and people laughed again, but this time at him. Now, the same process began with him.
This is a very common situation in our lives and most of the times we react the same way as I did. But, have we ever thought if it will lead to a solution? It can go in an endless loop in this way, a never ending process. I will always be unhappy until I make the other person feel bad and my experience says that I don't feel good (happy) after insulting him either. Yes, it may give a momentarily satisfaction but I do not think that it will be very long lasting. So, is this the right way of approaching this situation? Probably not.
First of all, there is no fulfillment during this whole process. At least one of the persons (even if I assume that I will be happy after taking revenge) is going to suffer all the time. No need to say that it is no way of fulfilling relationships between two human beings. And of course, it is certainly going to come back and bite me again. Then, what is the solution?
It should be very clear that both of us want respect from each other and when I check on my own rights, I find that it is always naturally acceptable to me to respect others as well. So, I could say that intentions are same from both sides, but this is only half of the issue. The other part is one's competence whether I am able to fulfill my intentions or not. And if I do find myself more competent then the other person, it is my responsibility then to make a program to make him as competent as I am.
One more thing, there should always be a common basis for comparison. If I am judging myself on the basis of my intentions, the other person should also be judged on his intentions. The problem arises when one judges oneself on intentions, but judges the other on the basis of his competence.
